What do you want to do in 2024?

In 2022, I wrote a page daily. I did it to see if I could sustain a habit that long. However, after re-reading the pages at the end of the year, I felt that the content was without direction and I wanted to see some character development the following year.

So, in 2023, I sat down and identified things that were important to me. I got 4: autonomy, financial stability, creativity and community. For each, I listed long-term outcomes. For example, under autonomy, I wrote work flexibility, as in working 4 hours max a day, anywhere. Then, I came up with things I can do that year that I believed brought me closer to those long-term outcomes, like writing my driver's license test (Yes, I don't know how to drive... yet!)

Now, we're in 2024. Did I see some character development? Yes! In many ways, courage most of all. Because I identified that creativity and community are important to me, I knew speaking up more was imperative - to share ideas, to advocate for my needs, to show gratitude and express appreciation. I used to instantaneously doubt my ideas as they came up, telling myself "that might be a little crazy." But, in a roomful of creative photographers, who I surrounded myself with, nothing is too crazy.

So, Bessy, where is the goal-setting method here?

See, growing up, I struggled with developing habits. I didn't sit down every night to study after a long school day. I did the bare minimum of what was expected of me. Paradoxically, I had many interests and stopped when I spread myself too thin or when things got too hard. Needless to say, I often found myself in an unhappy spot. I knew I had this willingness to do something. But, it wasn't until I was in my mid-30s that I realized why, no matter how much I did, I felt aimless: I wasn't honest about what was truly important to me. I looked to others often to tell me if I was living correctly and on track. It's why, even when my life looked decent on paper, there was this nagging dislike of who I've become.

Lesson 1: Ask yourself, what about this life really matters to you?

Being honest with yourself will simplify your life. It eventually becomes easier to say yes to some and no to others. You can hold yourself and others accountable.

But, just a side note: realizing that you have not always been true to yourself does not make your past life experience any less than your present or your promising future. Nobody's born all-knowing. Life is an ongoing learning process. Mistakes are inevitable. And, for the most part, we make the best possible decisions with whatever we had at the time.

Lesson 2: Be kind to yourself.

That means being the first person to forgive yourself when you fumble. That also means not judging yourself when you're already having a hard time. Shaming yourself will not help you. And these are very important to remember when your motivation and energy are low. This happens to me regularly, especially at the end of my menstrual cycle. I eat less healthy. I don't bike as much. I overthink what I say to other people. It then becomes harder to follow through any detailed, rigid structure. When I was writing everyday back in 2022, there were days where I didn't have anything to write down, except "I don't have anything today." And if I was hard on myself, I would tell myself "you're not a good enough writer," or "this was a wasted day." Then I start questioning what even is the point of carrying on. It's not a good cycle to be on, right?

So, let's go back to Lesson 1. Say, we know that physical health is important to us but we're not motivated to do an hour long bike ride today. What do we do?

Lesson 3: It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be done.

You can't do an hour long bike ride? Can you do 30 minutes? 15? Okay, if not a bike ride, how about a walk? No? How about getting out of bed? You have to feed yourself somehow. These were the questions I actually asked myself when I crashed after falling ill during the holidays. And I'm glad that I have a clearer understanding of who I am and learnt some self-compassion because I would have missed the forest for the trees. Resting is just as important as activity when it comes to physical health.

Lesson 4: Repetition can lead to a breakthrough.

Sure, we may struggle with structure sometimes but, if something is truly important to us, it's safe to assume that we wouldn't mind doing it again and over and over. Also, if you have your entire life ahead of you, you get to try over and over. If I didn't write daily in 2022, I wouldn't have realized my aimlessness. If I didn't bike a lot this year, I wouldn't have realized that I am physically fit, enough to make it all the way to Niagara Falls. I disproved a longstanding self-limiting belief I had by doing that. Though the most important breakthrough I had was getting exactly what I asked for.

Lesson 5: Living is world-building.

It's like designing your room. I wanted a drafting table in it, so I bought one. When I expressed my interest in community gardening because I couldn't do it on my windy balcony, one of my photographer friends went halfsies on his community plot with me. When I expressed myself more honestly, I ended up meeting more people with qualities I like: independent, intelligent, secure, confident, curious, creative, courageous and sensitive.

So, there's no spreadsheet to fill here. You can copy somebody else's goal-setting template and customize it to your unique personality. Or not. What I hope I did here is to open your eyes to the freedom that you actually have when it comes to your life. If you're a people pleaser, this is your permission to do whatever you like (legally, of course). I haven't made up my mind on the specifics of my 2024 yet but I'm glad I have the work that I did in the past 2 years to build on.

And that leads me to the last lesson:

Now is the best time.

You want to change your life? Don't wait for some special day. Just start.

In the comments below, let me know the one thing that you want to do this year.